Social Penetration Research

By Tara Howes
 

Wright, Paul H. "Self-Reverent Motivation and the Intrinsic Quality of Friendship."
Ed. Steve Duck. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 1 (1984-85): 115-130
 

Why do people get into relationships?

     Relationships reward people in many ways.  First and foremost, relationships give each person involved an "enhanced sense of individuality."  Friends give each other an ego support system, a supportive and encouraging person to lean on in times of trouble.  Friendships also serve a self-affimation value to each person.  That is, it reaffirms one's conception of what one's self is like.  Relationships also give stimulation value, which is the new, interesting views on life each person can bring into the relationship.

            Relationships also give security to each of its members.  The best friends in life have a high security value, which is the "degree to which one's partner is regarded as safe."  These are the people you will trust with your deepest, darkest secrets.  Another reward of friendship is known as utility value, the companionship, helpfulness and cooperation of a partner in the everyday chores of life.
 

        There are two criteria that show how strong a friendship is.  The first is voluntary interdependence.  This is the amount of free time each person commits to the relationship with the other without there being pressures or restraints from outside sources.  The second is the person-qua-person factor.  This refers to how much the relationship is based on each partners interaction with the other because of interest and concern.  This criteria is reflected in how much those involved interact with the other because of how unique, genuine, and irreplaceable the friendship.
 
 

       First of all, the better friends two people become, the easier it will be to notice a trait or personality quark that the other may not like.  In addition to that, if two people are great friends, they may become interdependent on the other.  If that happens, the more likely the pair is to run into conflicts in motives or goals.  Another factor which may strain a relationship is a threat to each member's individuality.  When two people become dependent on the other, their conceptions of self may be so close to the other's that they become panicked.  This may result in a "fission" of the selves to keep a "fusion" of the selves from happening.  Basically, Wright is saying that when two people become such good friends that they begin to imitate each other, the two will either stop being friends or start doing things the other would not do in order to reassure themselves of their individual identity.
 

         A relationship that surpasses the superficial level is called a communal relationship.  A communal relationship is one in which each member is concerned about the welfare of the other. It occurs when each member of the relationship is interested in helping the other person when he/she is in need, or doing something for the other when it would make the other person happy. This is a very different model of relationships than we have learned in the past which states that a person only becomes a member of a relationship for the benefits he/she will receive because of that friendship.  Although communal relationships do not involve a balance in the exchange of "equity," they do have a balance in the feelings felt by the other person.  That is, if one member of the relationship is feeling badly, the other member is too, and vice versa.

         For some people, communal relationships are reserved for a very small number of friends.  For others, large groups of people are considered as friends of this magnitude.  Then, there are the people who do not make the distinction, and treat each acquaintance (and sometimes even family) as benefit sharing relationships (equity exchange.)  Research has found that most people engage in communal relationship on some level.  This seems to be because most people have observed their parents being involved in communal relationships.

           Communal relationships have been found to be better and more rewarding if equity sharing does not occur.  Communal relationships are beneficial in and of themselves.  The intrinsic qualities of a communal relationship far exceeds the superficial interaction of equity sharing relationships for most people.  For others, equity sharing relationships are what they are seeking.  Therefore, it is up to each person involved to decide what type of friendship works best for them.

            The self is a conception of the individual's distinctiveness, unity, continuity, causal power and uniqueness.  Each person assigns characteristics to themselves to develop their own conception of what they are like.  Some of these characteristics change over time, and some do not.  The characteristics change slowly, therefore, the person's conception of self is usually stable.
              Each person realizes themselves through self-observation and also through feedback from others.  The person worries about the worth of themselves as a person.  This is reflected in 5 behavioral tendencies:
 

• A person acts in a way that will maintain or reaffirms his/her sense of identity.
• A person acts in a way that will reaffirm his/her important, highly valued self attributes.
• In situations encouraging self evaluation, a person will will evaluate his/her self in a positive way.
• A person will be oriented with changes in his/her self attributes in the direction of positive elaboration.
• A person will attempt to avoid or neutralize situations that will lower worth of the self.

           This model of friendship is assumed because of lack of extensive experimentation.  Until more information (whether corroborative or non corroborative) is found, the currently accepted stance on friendship is that most people favor a middle ground when it comes to relationships.  People enjoy both the rewards and the intrinsic rewards.
 
 

         This article has been very interesting reading.  It outlines the different types of relationships people have and what the benefits of each are.  It is written in a manner which is easy and enjoyable to read.  Although it does not contain much earth shattering news on social penetration theory, I have picked up some new information about friendships.  It is worth reading for curiosity's sake, but as for hard-core knowledge on social penetration, it does not contain much.
           Another problem with this article is that it states that there is not much research on this subject.  Therefore, the findings sound as if they are reporting information solely from a few, not trustworthy sounding experiments.  Take this reading with a grain of salt.