• Here goes the list of my favorite ...taglines...
  •  "Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"
  • "E=Mc^5...nahhh...E=Mc^4...nahh...E=Mc^3...ah, the hell with it."
  • "Mr. Worf, scan that ship."  "Aye, Captain... 300 DPI?
  • "Today's subliminal thought is:"
  • "Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
  • 'Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.'
  • 'Profanity: the universal programming language'
  • ..... REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable to recover Universe
  • ...now touch these wires to your tongue!
  • .signature not found!  reformat hard drive? [Yn]
  • 10.0 times 0.1 is hardly ever 1.0.
  • 29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast.
  • :-) :-> ;-) :)  "Smilies everyone, Smilies"  Mr.Rourke
  • <-------- The information went data way -------->
  • A bad random number generator:  1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1
  • A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.
  • A bug in the hand is better than one as yet undetected.
  • A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
  • A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.
  • A computer's attention span is only as long as its extension cord.
  • A fault tolerant system must report the faults even as it tolerates them.
  • A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.  - Laura Creighton
  • A list is only as strong as its weakest link.  - Don Knuth
  • A low level language is one whose programs require attention to the irrelevant.
  • A paperless office has about as much chance as a paperless bathroom.
  • A successful tool is used to do something undreamed of by its author.  - Johnson
  • A)bort, R)etry or S)elf-destruct?
  • A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium?
  • A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.
  • A)bort, R)etry, P)ee in drive door
  • AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous
  • APATHY ERROR:  Don't bother striking any key.
  • APL is a write-only language.  - Roy Keir
  • ASCII to  ASCII, DOS to DOS.
  • Abstraction is achieved by data hiding and enforced by encapsulation.
  • Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.  - Brook
  • Advanced design: Upper management doesn't understand it.
  • After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
  • All computers run at the same speed...with the power off.
  • All new: The software is not compatible with previous versions.
  • All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
  • All the simple programs have been written, and all the good names taken.
  • All wiyht.  Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • All you need to know is the user interface.  - J. Redford
  • An algorithm must be seen to be believed.  - D. E. Knuth
  • An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
  • And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
  • Another megabytes the dust.
  • Any given program will expand to fill available memory.
  • Any nitwit can understand computers.  Many do.  - Ted Nelson
  • Any program that runs right is obsolete.
  • Any programming language is at its best before it is implemented and used.
  • Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.  - Kulawiec
  • Artificial Intelligence:  Making computers behave like they do in the movies.
  • As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.  - Weisert
  • As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
  • Asking if computers can think is like asking if submarines can swim.
  • Asking whether machines can think is like asking whether submarines can swim.
  • Avoid GOTOs completely if you can keep the program readable.
  • Avoid temporary variables and strange women.
  • Avoid the Fortran arithmetic IF (or better yet, just avoid Fortran).
  • Avoid unnecessary branches.
  • BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.  - Seymour Papert
  • BREAKFAST.COM halted... cereal port not responding!
  • Backup not found!  A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?
  • Backup not found: A)bort, R)etry, M)assive heart failure?
  • Backups?  We doan *NEED* no steenking baX%^~,VbKx    NO CARRIER
  • Bad command or file name.  Go stand in the corner.
  • Bad style destroys an otherwise superb program.
  • Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers.  - Tom Lehrer
  • Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.
  • Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.  - Leonard Brandwein
  • Brain fried; core dumped.
  • Breakthrough: It finally booted on the first try.
  • Breakthrough: It nearly booted on the first try.
  • Bug?  That's not a bug, that's a feature.       -T. John Wendel
  • C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.
  • C:\GRAPHICS\GIF\NAUGHTY\FILTHY\DISGUSTING\WOW!
  • CCCP:> format CCCP: /u
  • CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
  • CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
  • Capt'n!  The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!
  • Choose variable names that will not be confused.
  • Close your eyes and press escape three times.
  • Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source.
  • Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
  • Computer and car salesmen differ in that the latter know when they are lying.
  • Computer possessed? Try DEVICE=C:\EXOR.SYS
  • Computer programmers do it byte by byte.
  • Computers are a more fun way to do the same work you'd have to do without them.
  • Computers are only human.
  • Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.  - Gilb
  • Computers are useless.  They can only give you answers.  - Pablo Picasso
  • Computers talk to each other worse than their designers do.
  • Computers...  are not designed, as we are, for ambiguity.  - Thomas
  • Congratulations!  You are the one-millionth user to log into our system.
  • Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming.  - Kernigan
  • Customer: A primitive life form at the bottom of the food chain.
  • DYNAMIC LINKING ERROR: Your mistake is now everywhere.
  • Death is a nonmaskable interrupt.
  • Debugger: A tool that substitutes afterthought for forethought.
  • Design simplicity: It was developed on a shoe-string budget.
  • Design: The activity of preparing for a design review.
  • Diagnostics are the programs that run when nothing else will.
  • Disc space, the final frontier!
  • Disclaimer:  Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.
  • Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped?
  • Do you like me for my brain or my baud?
  • Document code?  Why do you think they call it "code?"
  • Don't comment or patch bad code; rewrite it.
  • Don't compare floating point numbers solely for equality.
  • Don't diddle code to make it faster; find a better algorithm.
  • Don't document the program; program the document.
  • Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts.
  • Don't let the computer bugs bite!
  • Don't stop at one bug.
  • Dreams are free, but you get soaked on the connect time.
  • EBCDIC: Erase, Back up, Chew Disk, Ignite Card
  • E Pluribus UNIX.
  • Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.
  • Emacs is a nice operating system, but I prefer UNIX.  - Tom Christiansen
  • Error 13: Illegal brain function. Process terminated.
  • Esc key to reboot Universe, or any other key to continue...
  • Every bug you find is the last one.
  • Every program in development at MIT expands until it can read mail.
  • Every program is a part of some other program, and rarely fits.
  • Every program is either trivial or it contains at least one bug.
  • Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop hacking and fall in love!
  • Exclusive: We're the only ones who have the documentation.
  • Expert systems are built to embody the knowledge of human experts.  - Kulawiec
  • Field tested: Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.
  • Finish your mail packet!  Children are offline in India.
  • Foolproof operation:  All parameters are hard coded.
  • Foolproof operation: All parameters are hard coded.
  • From C:\*.* to shining C:\*.*
  • Futuristic: It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.
  • Futuristic: It will only run on a next generation supercomputer.
  • God is REAL, unless explicitly declared INTEGER.
  • God is real, unless declared integer.
  • God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
  • Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
  • Hackers have kernel knowledge.
  • Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
  • Help!  I'm trapped in a Chinese computer factory!
  • Hex dump:  Where witches put used curses...
  • Honey, I Formatted the Kid!
  • Host System Not Responding, Probably Down.  Do you want to wait?  (Y/N)
  • How an engineer writes a program: Start by debugging an empty file...
  • How do I love thee?  My accumulator overflows.
  • How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  • How was Thomas J. Watson buried?  9 edge down.
  • I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.
  • I am still waiting for the advent of the computer science groupie.
  • I am the computer your mother warned you about.
  • I bet the human brain is a kludge.  - Marvin Minsky
  • I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
  • I do not fear computers.  I fear the lack of them.  - Isaac Asimov
  • I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.
  • I just found the last bug.
  • I modem, but they grew back.
  • I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.
  • I smell a wumpus.
  • I suppose when it gets to that point, we shan't know how it does it.  - Turing
  • I used to have a life, then I got v32bis!
  • I'm a modemer and I'm OK.  I post all night and I sleep all day.
  • I'm not a sysop, I just play one on the echoes.
  • IBM: I Blame Mathematics
  • IBM: I Breaks Monthly
  • IBM: I Bring Madness
  • IBM: I Broke Mine
  • IBM: I Built Mine
  • IBM: I bring manuals
  • IBM: I'd Be Misinforming
  • IBM: I'd Buy Macintosh
  • IBM: I'll Buy Macintosh
  • IBM: I'm Being Manipulated
  • IBM: I'm Beyond Mistakes
  • IBM: I'm Buying Macintosh
  • IBM: I've Become Magnanimous
  • IBM: I've Been Mangled
  • IBM: I've Been Mauled
  • IBM: I've Been Mesmerized
  • IBM: I've Been Misled
  • IBM: Ici Beaucoup Merde
  • IBM: Iconoclastic Bilateral Monopoly
  • IBM: Icons Bygones My Mom's
  • IBM: Idealistically Backwards Microcomputers
  • IBM: Ideas Bring Money
  • IBM: Idiots Became Managers
  • IBM: Idiots Being Mental
  • IBM: Idiots Built Me
  • IBM: Idle Brain Malfunction
  • IBM: Ifs Buts Maybys
  • IBM: Ill'manners Being Mandatory
  • IBM: Ill-mannered Besotten Macrocasm
  • IBM: Illustrious Bankruptcy Malenfactor
  • IBM: Illustrious Busy Mice
  • IBM: Imbecile Bad Micros
  • IBM: Imensa Bola De Manteca
  • IBM: Imitable Boring Microcomputers
  • IBM: Immeasurable Bigheaded Malapert
  • IBM: Immovable Brash Monolith
  • IBM: Impeccably Blue-dressed Managers
  • IBM: Imperial Bellicose Marauder
  • IBM: Imperialist by Marketing
  • IBM: Impersonal Bellicose Magnate
  • IBM: Impious Bacchnalain Metropolis
  • IBM: In Business (for) Money
  • IBM: Inadequates Becoming Millionaires
  • IBM: Inane Brutish Merchandising
  • IBM: Incompatible Blue Machines
  • IBM: Inconsistent Business machines
  • IBM: Incontinent Bandolerisimo Moloch
  • IBM: Increasingly Bad Manufacturing
  • IBM: Increasingly Banal Movement
  • IBM: Incredible Bowel Movement
  • IBM: Incredibly Bad Merchandising
  • IBM: Incredibly Ballsey Marketeers
  • IBM: Incredibly Belligerent Merketing
  • IBM: Incredibly Big Manufacturer
  • IBM: Incredibly Big Monster
  • IBM: Incredibly Bloody Minded
  • IBM: Incredibly Boastful Mercenary
  • IBM: Incredibly Boring Manuals
  • IBM: Incredibly Broad Monolopy
  • IBM: Incredibly Bullying Menace
  • IBM: Indecision Breeds Mistakes
  • IBM: Indecorous Big-named Medusoid
  • IBM: Indigestion Bothers Me
  • IBM: Industry Bowel Movement
  • IBM: Industry's Biggest Mistake
  • IBM: Industry's Bulging Monolith
  • IBM: Inept Bulling Menace
  • IBM: Inevitably Bad Marketing
  • IBM: Inferior Before Macintosh
  • IBM: Infernal Biggest Mistake
  • IBM: Infernal Blue Machines
  • IBM: Infinite Budget Merchandising
  • IBM: Infinitely Baffling Motives
  • IBM: Inherently Bad Manuals
  • IBM: Innovation By Management
  • IBM: Insanely Better Marketing
  • IBM: Insensitivity Begets Mediocrity
  • IBM: Inshallah Burak Ma'lesh
  • IBM: Insidious Byzantine Mentality
  • IBM: Insignificant Bothersome Machine
  • IBM: Insipidly Bankrolling Millions
  • IBM: Insolent Bickering Mal-der-mer
  • IBM: Install Bigger Memory
  • IBM: Insulting Boorish Manner
  • IBM: Insultingly Boring Microcomputers
  • IBM: Intensely Boring Machines
  • IBM: Intentionally Braindamaged Machinery
  • IBM: Intercourse Beats Masturbation
  • IBM: Interesting But Mediocre
  • IBM: Interesting But Mundane
  • IBM: Intergalactic Bottomline Mistake
  • IBM: Internals By Mediocrity
  • IBM: International Bit Mangler
  • IBM: International Bowel Movement
  • IBM: Intersmashable Byte manipulators
  • IBM: Into Building Money
  • IBM: Intriguingly Blue Motif
  • IBM: Invented By Maladroits
  • IBM: Invented By Marketing
  • IBM: Invented By Murphy
  • IBM: Irresponsibility Behaved Multinational
  • IBM: It Broke Be
  • IBM: It's Become Monolithic
  • IBM: It's Been Malfunctioning
  • IBM: It's Better 'morrow
  • IBM: It's Better Manually
  • IBM: It's Beyond Monolithic
  • IBM: It's Broke Ma'am
  • IBM: It's Bugging Me
  • IBM: It's Bullshit Mommery
  • IBM: Itty Bitty Machines
  • IBM: Itty Bitty Mentality
  • IBM: Itty Bitty Mouse
  • IBM: Itty Bity Maharishi
  • If God had intended Man to program, we would be born with serial I/O ports.
  • If I had it all to do over again, I'd spell creat with an "e".  - Kernighan
  • If a program is useful, it must be changed.
  • If a program is useless, it must be documented.
  • If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
  • If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
  • If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
  • If it was easy, the hardware people would take care of it.
  • If only women came with pull-down menus and online help.
  • If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.  - Schryer
  • If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some.
  • Implementation is the sincerest form of flattery.
  • In /dev/null no one can hear you scream
  • In God we trust; all else we walk through.
  • In computer science, we stand on each other's feet.  - Brian Reid
  • In the long run, every program becomes rococco, and then rubble.  - Alan Perlis
  • Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
  • It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
  • It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.
  • It is now pitch dark.  If you proceed, you will likely fall into a pit.
  • It is ten o'clock; do you know where your processes are?
  • It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!
  • It wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought.  - Wilkes, 1949
  • It's 10 o'clock.  Do you know where your child processes are?
  • It's here at last: We've released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.
  • It's redundant!  It's redundant!        -R. E. Dundant
  • Justify my text?  I'm sorry but it has no excuse.
  • Kiss your keyboard goodbye!
  • Know Thy User.
  • LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
  • Last one out, turn off the computer!
  • Let the machine do the dirty work.  - Elements of Programming Style
  • Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
  • Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.
  • Lisp Users: Due to the holiday, there will be no garbage collection on Monday.
  • Logic is neither an art or a science but a dodge.
  • Logic:   The art of being wrong with confidence...
  • Long computations that yield zero are probably all for naught.
  • MC Hammer, n. Device used to ensure firm seating of MicroChannel boards
  • MIPS:  Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.
  • Machine independent code isn't.
  • Machine-independent:  Does not run on any existing machine.
  • Maintenance free: It's impossible to fix.
  • Maintenance-free:  When it breaks, it can't be fixed...
  • Make input easy to proofread.
  • Make it right before you make it faster.
  • Make sure all variables are initialized before use.
  • Make sure comments and code agree.
  • Make sure your code "does nothing" gracefully.
  • Managing programmers is like herding cats.
  • Maniac:  An early computer built by nuts...
  • Manual Writer's Creed:  Garbage in, gospel out.
  • May the bugs of many programs nest on your hard drive.
  • Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.  - R. S. Barton
  • Me and my two friends... GIF and Wesson.
  • Meets quality standards:  Compiles without errors.
  • Meets quality standards: It compiles without errors.
  • Memory dump:  Amnesia...
  • Microwave:  Signal from a friendly micro...
  • Modem:  How a Southerner asks for seconds...
  • Mommy!  The cursor's winking at me!
  • Multitasking:  Screwing up several things at once...
  • My BBS is baroque now.  Please call Bach later with your Handel.
  • My Go this  amn keyboar  oesn't have any  's.
  • My computer NEVER cras
  • My computer isn't that nervous, it's just a bit ANSI.
  • My computer's sick.  I think my modem is a carrier.
  • My mail reader can beat up your mail reader.
  • My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
  • Netnews is like yelling, "Anyone want to buy a used car?" in a crowded theater.
  • Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  • Never put off till run-time what you can do at compile-time.  - D. Gries
  • Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.  - Steinbach
  • Never trust a computer you can't lift.  - Stan Masor
  • Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window.  - S. Hunt
  • Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes.  - Jackson
  • Never violate the Prime Directory!  C:\
  • Never write software that anthropomorphizes the machine.
  • Never write software that patronizes the user.
  • New: It comes in different colors from the previous version.
  • Nice computers don't go down.
  • No extensible language will be universal.  - T. Cheatham
  • No line available at 300 baud.
  • No program done by a hacker will work unless he is on the system.
  • No program done by an undergrad will work after she graduates.
  • Nobody has ever, ever, EVER learned all of WordPerfect.
  • Nostalgia:  The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...
  • Objects are closer than they appear.
  • Old mail has arrived.
  • Old programmers never die; they just branch to a new address.
  • On a clear disk you can seek forever.           -Computerworld button
  • On a clear disk you can seek forever.  - Denning
  • On a clear disk you can seek forever...
  • One if by LAN, two if by C.  - Paul Revere, as told by John Karwoski
  • One man's constant is another man's variable.  - Perlis
  • One person's error is another person's data.
  • One picture is worth 128K words.
  • Overflow on /dev/null; please empty the bit bucket.
  • People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten.  - Jon Bentley
  • Performance is easier to add than clarity.
  • Performance proven: It works through beta test.
  • Portable:  Survives system reboot.
  • Press [ESC] to detonate or any other key to explode.
  • Printed on 100% recyclable phosphor.
  • Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
  • Programmer: One who is too lacking in people skills to be a software engineer.
  • Programmers do it bit by bit.
  • Programming Department:  Mistakes made while you wait.
  • Programming is an art form that fights back.
  • Programming is an unnatural act.
  • Programming just with goto's is like swatting flies with a sledgehammer.
  • Programs: What software used to be, back when we knew how to write it.
  • Protect your software at all costs; all else is meat.
  • Quality assurance: A way to ensure you never deliver shoddy goods accidentally.
  • RAM DISK is not an installation procedure!
  • REALITY.DAT not found. Atempting to restore Universe......
  • REALITY.SYS corrupted- reboot Universe (Y/N)?
  • Random access is the optimum of the mass storages.
  • Real programmers use: COPY CON PROGRAM.EXE
  • Real programs don't eat cache.
  • Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?
  • Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
  • Replace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.
  • Resistance is useless!  (If < 1 ohm)
  • Revolutionary:  Disk drives go round and round.
  • Revolutionary: The disk drives go round and round.
  • SCCS, the source motel!  Programs check in and never check out!  - Ken Thompson
  • SCCS, the source motel!  Programs check in and never check out!" - Ken Thompson
  • SENILE.COM found... Out Of Memory.
  • SET DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
  • Satisfaction Guaranteed: We'll send you another copy if it fails.
  • Save energy:  Drive a smaller shell.
  • Shift to the left!  Shift to the right!  Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
  • Software engineer: One who engineers others into writing the code for him/her.
  • Software is best understood as a branch of movie making.  - Ted Nelson
  • Software is mind work.  Having the right frame of mind is essential.
  • Software is to computers as yeast is to dough.  - Chuck Bradshaw
  • Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.
  • Spellchecker not found.  Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
  • Spelling checkers at maximum!  Fire!
  • Stack Error:  Lost on a cluttered desk...
  • Stack Overflow:  Too many pancakes...
  • Stack manipulation - the use of inflatable falsies.     -Datamazing, 4/1/78
  • State-of-the-art: What we could do with enough money.
  • State-of-the-practice: What we can do with the money you have.
  • Steinbach's Rule: Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle
  • Stock item: We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.
  • Structured Programming supports the law of the excluded muddle.
  • Supercomputer:  Turns CPU-bound problem into I/O-bound problem.  - Ken Batcher
  • Sure it's user-friendly...if you know what you're doing.
  • Swap read error.  You lose your mind.
  • System going down at 1:45 for disk crashing.
  • System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.
  • Systems programmers are the high priests of a low cult.  - R. S. Barton
  • Terminal glare:  A look that kills...
  • That does not compute.
  • The Soviet Union does not exist any more in its present format.
  • The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.
  • The best packed information most resembles random noise.
  • The best way to accelerate a Mac is at 9.8 m / sec^2
  • The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
  • The computer is the Proteus of machines.  - Seymour Papert
  • The computing field is always in need of new cliches.  - Alan Perlis
  • The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.
  • The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
  • The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
  • The less time planning, the more time programming.
  • The moving cursor prints, and having printed, blinks on.
  • The next generation of computers will have a "Warranty Expired" interrupt.
  • The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected.  (6/72)
  • The program is absolutely right; therefore the computer must be wrong.
  • The program is absolutely right; therefore, the computer must be wrong.
  • The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH'.  -Weinberg, p.152
  • The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.  - Hamming
  • The steady state of disks is full.  - Ken Thompson
  • The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
  • The whole is the sum of its parts, plus one or more bugs
  • The wise person writes bomb-proof code.
  • The world is coming to an end...  SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!
  • The world will end in 5 minutes.  Please log out.
  • The world's coming to an end. Log off and leave in an orderly fashion.
  • There are always at least two ways to program the same thing.
  • There are never any bugs you haven't found yet.
  • There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
  • There can never be a computer language in which you cannot write a bad program.
  • There is no problem that, when programmed just right, isn't more complicated.
  • There must be more to life than compile-and-go.
  • This BBS is ancient.  Some say from the echocene.
  • This fortune soaks up 47 times its own weight in excess memory.
  • This login session:  $13.76, but for you:  $11.88.
  • This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
  • This screen intentionally left blank.
  • This system will self-destruct in five minutes.
  • This time it will surely run.
  • Those who can't write, write help files.
  • Those who can, do.  Those who cannot, teach.  Those who cannot teach, HACK!
  • Thrashing is just virtual crashing.
  • To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
  • To define recursion, we must first define recursion.
  • To err is human; to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
  • To err is human; to really foul things up requires a computer.
  • To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
  • To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.  - Robert Heller
  • To understand a program you must become both the machine and the program.
  • Todays assembler command :  EXOP   Execute Operator
  • Trojan:  Storage device for replicating codes...
  • Try not to let implementation details sneak into design documents.
  • UNIX is a computer virus with a user interface.
  • UNIX is many things to many people, but it has never been everything to anybody.
  • USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue.
  • Unprecedented performance:  Nothing ever ran this slow before.
  • Unprecedented performance: Nothing ever ran this slow before.
  • Use GOTOs only to implement a fundamental structure.
  • Use IF...ELSE  IF...ELSE  IF...ELSE...  to implement multi-way branches.
  • Use free-form input where possible.
  • User: A harmless drudge.
  • Variables won't; constants aren't.  - Osborn
  • Virus detected!  P)our chicken soup on motherboard?
  • Volume in Drive C:  TOO_LOUD!
  • WOMAN.ZIP:  Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses...
  • WOMEN.ZIP:  A great program, but it doesn't come with documentation...
  • Was that your wife I saw in that GIF?
  • Watch out for off-by-one errors.
  • What do computer engineers use for birth control?  Their personalities.
  • What this country needs is a good five-cent microcomputer.
  • When a program is being tested, it is too late to make design changes.
  • When all else fails, let a = 7.  If that doesn't help, then read the manual.
  • When we write programs that "learn", it turns out we do and they don't.
  • Where the system is concerned, you are not allowed to ask "Why?".
  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
  • Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?
  • Years of development: We finally got one to work.
  • You can't go home again, unless you set $HOME.
  • You can't make a program without broken egos.
  • You depend too much on computers for information.
  • You don't have to know how the computer works, just how to work the computer.
  • You forgot to do your backup 16 days ago.  Tomorrow you will need that version.
  • You forgot to do your backup 16 days ago.  Tomorrow you'll need that version.
  • You had mail, but the super-user read it, and deleted it!
  • You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
  • You have junk mail.
  • You know it is going to be a bad day when you forget your new password.
  • You might have mail.
  • You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
  • Your e-mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
  • Your fault, core dumped.
  • Your password is pitifully obvious.
  • ZAP! Process discontinued. Enter any 12-digit prime number to resume.
  • ZMODEM:  Big bits, Soft blocks, Tighter ASCII...
  • [If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses]
  • [Unix] is not necessarily evil, like OS/2.  - Peter Norton
  • f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
  • fortune: No such file or directory
  • grep..grep..grep... (Frog with UNIX stuck in its' throat)
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