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Ohio Temperature Conversions |
60 above: South Carolinians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats. Ohio people sunbathe.
50 above: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Ohio people plant gardens.
40 above: Italian cars won't start. Ohio people drive with the windows down.
32 above: Distilled water freezes. Lake Erie's water gets thicker.
20 above: Californians shiver uncontrollably. Ohio people have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
10 above: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Ohio people throw on a sweatshirt.
- 0 - : Californians fly away to Mexico. Ohio people lick the flagpole.
20 below: People in Miami cease to exist. Ohio people get out their winter coats.
40 below: Hollywood disintegrates. Ohio Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
60 below: Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Ohio Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" training until it gets cold enough.
80 below: Mt. St. Helen's freezes. Ohio people rent some videos.
100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Ohio people get frustrated when the deer start heading south.
297 below: Microbial life survives on dairy products. Ohio cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below: ALL atomic motion stops. Ohio people start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below: Hell freezes over. The Browns win the Super Bowl.