Genderlect Research Report

That's Not What I Meant Written by Deborah Tannen

According to Deborah Tannen the terms power and solidarity mean much more than what meets the eye.

Power is the drive we have to become independent, and the resistance we put up against being controlled by other people. Power often time reflects social status, because of this a superior status position allows room for more power. Solidarity, on the other hand in more closely connected to rapport and the drive to be friendly.

In this particular chapter of Tannen's book she looks at the different ways that power and solidarity are used and perceived in conversation.

Power and solidarity are mutually exclusive with each other.Power can often time be mistaken for solidarity. For example, if you were to shake my hand and grip it tightly in the process, is that an act of kindness and familiarity or an attempt to show your power over me? No matter what a message is transmitted regardless of what is intended. It is also true that solidarity entails power. Tannen takes for example the emotion of love, love is wanting to please others that we care about. So in turn love is getting others to do what we what, thus getting our way. This relationship between power and solidarity keeps communication in a constant imbalance.

"What's in a first name?" asks Tannen in a section of her work. The first name itself holds a great deal of meaning in communication. Solidarity is illustrated when two people call each other by their first names. Power is reflected when one person calls the other by their first name, but not the reciprocal. Gender, status, and age all play a role when discussing the use of the first name. An adult calls a child by first name, but in most situations a child calls an adult by a last name title. Adults are in a position of a higher status then children, and the use of the last name title illustrates just that. This models both the relationship of age and status as related to the use of the first name. Gender comes into play because according to Tannen women are called by their first names a great deal more than men are. Many women do prefer to be called by their first names because it tends to create a closer connection then the distancing last name title, and avoid a distancing affect which unlike men, most women are concerned with.

Traditionally used terms of affection can often time create a feeling of frustration among most women.These terms such as "honey," or "sweetie" which are often time used by men towards women that might be meant as a friendly gesture come off as condescending and disrespectful. These traditional names seem condescending because of the "metamessage of superior status"(Tannen 98).

Creating a inappropriate sense of equality can be dangerous in the communication process.Often time inappropriateness relates to status, in which case the "power/solidarity dimension" is at play. Tannen uses the example of praise. Praise is not appreciated when it appears that the praiser is in a superior position, a position to judge you. Similarly, when someone attempts to act out solidarity that seems out of place, we resent that person's attempt and become annoyed. Nevertheless, solidarity is used to cause influence.

Salespeople constantly attempt to win your friendship in order to influence you.That is probably something most of us have not thought long and hard about. But it is true, salespeople instinctively understand and utilize the connection between solidarity and control. Salespeople do this by making conversation with us (thus invoking solidarity) in order to control us, which results in a purchase of the product at hand. "A solidarity-based role of giving information is provided to set the stage for control, making a sale"(Tannen 103).

Interpertation & Evaluation

This chapter in Tannen's book definitely draws alot of attention to the use of power and solidarity as it relates to communication. This topic applies accordingly to genderlects because of the tendency that both men and women have of misinterpreting the intended meanings of power and solidarity. Ultimately a message is received by all members of a commination process regardless of intended meaning, this is why the understanding of the exclusive relationship of power and solidarity is so important. The information that Tannen presents has a clear connection to the real world interaction between people. The ideas that she presents to us are well thought out and are presented in a fashion that make it easier for the reader to grasp and apply accordingly to their communication experiences.


Check out these great links!

Get some more information on Tannen from her home page.

Listen to an exclusive interview with Deborah Tannen herself.

Read more about genderlect styles as written by Tannen.

Take a look at Brad's research report.

Here is Elizabeth's application of the genderlect theory.

Check out Alexa's critique of genderlects.

After discussing the differences between men and women in communication, it is helpful to look at an exellent example as Genderlect relates to Relational Dialects. Check out an example and application of Baxter and Montgomery's theory.

Genderlect home page



Deborah Tannen, That's Not What I Meant! William Morrow, New York, 1986

This page was created by Kathryn Taddeo, and last updated on 2-1-00