Relational Dialectics: A Research Report

This research of Relational Dialectics Theory refers to the book titled A Handbook of Personal Relationships, edited by Steve Duck. The title "A Dialectical Perspective on Communication Strategies in Relationship Development," written by Lesile Baxter, presents the basic strategies for an ideal relationship . The theories in which Baxter discusses describe the communication actions that a coulpe must use to establish, maintain, and dissolve their personal relationships. Contradiction is the central concept of relational dialectics. It refers to the dynamic interplay between unified oppostions. By managing three basic cotradictions; which are Autonomy-Connection, Novelty-Prediction, and Openness-Closedness, a couple can maintain a stable and healthy relationship with each other and together, accomplish success.
Baxter bases her dialectical theory on the three bipolar pairs that cause contradictions. The primary or principle contradiction is Autonomy-Connection. A web of secondary contradictions, Novelty- Prediction and Openness-Closedness, surrounds this primary one.

Baxter believes this contradiction to be the primary strain within all relationships. It is the "essence" of relationships. No relationship can exist by defintion unless the parties sacrifice some individual autonomy. On the other hand, too much connection can destroy a relationship. When two people are so tighly connected, their individual identity becomes lost. They are seen as one, instead of two seperate people. To balance the pair, each person in the relationship needs to define what their standard of separateness and connectedness is. Each must agree on how much "together time" and "separate time" is needed in order to establish and maintain a posive relationship.

Some individuals like the idea of predictability in the relationship. They do not encourage change. Rather, they want to know what and when something is going to happen. As for others, they want a bit of mystery, some spontaneity in the relationship. In order for a relationship to work, Baxter states that each relationship requires a balance of novelty and prediction. When a couple begins to date, everything is new. With time, each person begins to predict their partner's actions. This creates a sense of comfort with each other and the relationship. Although, when patterns become to predictable, it leads to the ultimate emotional deadening of a relationship. This is when novelty should take place. An occasional surprise or variety in everyday actions will put life back into the relationship. Without it, the relationship becomes bland and boring. Completely lifeless.

All relationships need to have an equal amount of openness and closedness of information. An open relationship is key to establishing intimacy between two people. Although, if a relationship has too much openness, vulnerabilities will occur for oneself, the other, or the relationship, which results in closedness. This doesn't just happen in private communication between a couple, it occurs in public presentation of the relationship to others. Every couple needs privacy or closedness to establish intimacy in their relationship. They need to feel a sense of security from one another. In contrast, every couple requires public recognition, which necessitates openness.

These three pairs of contradictions are just a few of the many that exist in relational dialectics. Autonomy-Connection, Novelty-Prediction, and Openness-Closedness illustrate the basic conditions all relationships face. They also provide strategies to follow in order to equally balance each side.

In my opinion, Baxter's article is very helpful for all couples. She clearly identifies what to do and what not to do in a relationship. She also states what two people need in order to make thier relationship last. Looking at my past relationships, I now realize what went wrong. I think that every couple, whether new or old, should read Baxter's article about relational dialectics. In addition, if you want to learn more about men and women and why they are so different in relationships, as well as in life, read this research report on Genderlect.

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To go back to the Relational Dialectics title page, Mike. To read an application on Relational Dialectics, Shannon. To read a critique on Relational Dialectics, Mike.

Works Cited
Baxter, Lesile A. "A Dialectical Perspective on Communication Strategies for Relationship Development," in A Handbook of Personal Relationships. Ed. Steve Duck. New York: John Wiley and Sons, 1988. 257-272.