My TTC Entries

17 September 2001-- After all that has happened in the last week, I can hardly think about ttc. It is so scary to contemplate, yet I feel like I have to make a decision soon as whether or not we should ttc. I brought this issue up on the PCOS ttc list that I am on and the responses there were varied and interesting. The majority of women felt that it is best to carry on and do what you had planned to do before the WTC and Pentagon were hit, before the tragic crash in Sommerset, PA. The questions tha keep swirling in my mind: Will we go to war? What will happen if we do? Is our country safe? Will I be able to get the medication (Lovenox and Glucophage) that I need to have a healthy, full-term pregnancy? Will I be able to deliver? Some of these questions might be overblown and exaggerated, but I can't seem to get them out of my head.

I was glad to find out that other women were feeling the same way that I am. It made me feel like I am not such a worry wart, that my concerns are the concerns of other women. I think, too, about all of the women who are going through expensive, long-term procedures like IVF and GIF. What can they do? They can't just let their money, time, and hopes go. I wish that there was a simple answer to this, but there isn't.

We have about a week, maybe ten days to make up our minds. I will O then and we have to decide.

25 September 2001—Well, we decided to go through with it. We have been actively trying to conceive since September 20^th. I should O tomorrow or the next day, and I should start my period around October 5^th. Very exciting. Very frightening. The thing that I am most afraid of is the heparin/lovenox shots that I will have to take through the whole pregnancy. I don’t want to give myself shots. I just feel so overwhelmed by it. Also, it will be a dangerous state for me, give that my hospital does not readily have the agent used to counteract the blood thinning qualities of these drugs. If I am in a serious car wreck, I probably will not make it. Looks like this woman is going to be staying home for nine months if I am so lucky to get pregnant. I hope to have some more information about Heparin/Lovenox during pregnancy and Factor VIII, which is why I need to take it anyway, in the coming weeks. There is not much out there on it, but I am finding more and more cysters who have it.