Genderlect Styles
Men want status, Women want connection!
We don't normally think of women and men as two separate cultures, but according to Deborah Tannens Genderlect Styles Theory, we are.
Tannen uses Forster to prove that people from diverse cultures can misunderstand each other. Tannen concludes that similar miscommunication occurs all the time between men and women. Mostly because neither gender realizes that they are involved in a cross-cultural encounter. When a geographic border is crossed there is a reality that communication could become difficult. Tannen offers that men and women do not realize that "talking through their problems" will only worsen the ordeal if the way they are communicating is the root of the problem.
Tannen describes men and women speaking "different words from different worlds." Even when we are speaking the same terms, we are "tuned to different frequencies".
To explain further , Tannen talks about the ways that men and women deal with things differently in five major areas:
Public Speaking and Private Speaking
Men feel they must defend their manhood in public and win the conversation. In private though, they are a little uncomfortable. Although men will disclose, it takes some time, and most likely the women must initiate the disclosure. Where as, women are more reserved in the public eye and very much at ease in more intimate settings. Women, as a whole, are comfortable disclosing in communication.
Telling A Story
In the stories men tell they are normally the hero or it is a joke. Women tell stories about other people, and if they are talking about themselves, it is normally about them doing something foolish to put themselves on the same level as their listeners.
Listening
Women are active listeners and do a lot of cooperative overlapping. Which is when women will interupt to encourage or agree with the person they are communicating with. Whereas men regard any interruption as a take-over of the power in the conversation. Which leads to why men can get annoyed when women interupt them for any reason, once again, Tannen feels it is a power issue.
Asking Questions
Men asking for directions? Nope. They feel that they are losing self-respect. "Every admission of ignorance whittles away at the image of self-sufficient quality that is so important for a man." Women, on the other hand, feel that questions are a way to become connected with people. They often attach tag questions to the end of their inquisitions. For instance, "That was a great meal, wasn't it?"
Conflict
According to Tannen men are normally the instigators of conflict. To men life is a competition. Men are very comfortable with the idea of conflict, which is yet another way they can "win". Women view conflict as a threat to their connection to people and it is usually an issue that is avoided.
Tannen examines some interesting issues and topics with her theory of Genderlect Styles. Here are some links to further explore her theory. Click on the flashing words and hear some insight about her books, articles, and the theory as well.
Check out It gives you some background on Tannen, as well as her theory and studies.
Read a senior thesis from a where Deborah Tannen currently is a professor
Here is an interesting conversation between Terence Miller and Deborah Tannen about the that rocked the White House.
Now hear my partners in crime expound on some aspects of Tannens theory!
Listen to apply Tannens' five components of the Genderlect Theory to life, television, and movies.
will enlighten you with some research about Genderlect from a book called Sexism As Shown Through the English Language\ by: Alleen Pace Nilsen.
Then you can click on to get a critique of the Genderlect Theory!
I thought maybe this link to a page on which concentrates on visual signs and how they are interpreted between people and the different meanings assigned to them and their impact on society.
Griffin, Em. A First Look At Communication Theory.New York: McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. 1997.
This page was created by: Cari Porter :)