Have you ever thought about how hard it is to be gay? Being gay is hard, very hard.  In the past, I've had several long talks with openly gay men attemping to understand why they were attracted to other men.   Most have told me that they always knew they were gay, even when they were young.   At the time, they didn't understand their feelings, but they knew they were different, although they looked the same as the other kids. All parents want their children to be normal, marry someone of the oppsite sex and provide grandchildren, etc.   Most of the time when they find out their child is gay, a war erupts at home and in some cases, they are kicked out of the house.  I realize now that people are gay due to no fault of their own.   They are hated by some people, just like african Americans are hated by some white people because they are black, and not for any other reason. People are born gay, black, male and female due to no fault of their own.   They can't control why they were born the way they are, but they must deal with life the way they were born.  I always try to put myself in the shoes of the other person, and hope that by reading this web page, you might begin to change your opinion of others who are different than yourself. Some people are bi-sexual and can hide their feelings toward others of the same sex by living a double life.   Most gay people are just gay, and many just keep their feelings to themselves.   The time is coming that "coming out" will be the norm, and that if you're gay, you'll be able to declare you're gay without the fear that comes with "Coming Out." My daughter Margie is living with a gay partner and has written several papers about her feelings which are listed below.  I hope you take some time to read these papers and try to understand about people who may be different than yourself.  If you would like to email me about this subject, I'll add some of the comments at the end of this page. What About Those Gay People Love Is Never Wrong Imagine Love Your comments are welcome, and will be posted here: Hello, I am a 13 yr old female from Australia.  I was doing some research for myself to see if I can get some closure on things in my life.  One of the things I needed to research was about Gays and Bi-sexuals.   My brother is gay and many of my friends are gay.  I have recently discovered that I am bi-sexual.  As you say in your article/essay, most people know from a young age.  I was one of those people.   I still don't understand why these things happen; all I know is you can't help it.  I let my feelings known to those I love but I am not telling close family because of pressure throughout my family about coming out as it is.  You were referring to bi-sexuals or I should say from what you wrote it seemed you were referring to bi-sexuals as gay. I am sorry but as a bi-sexual, I do not see myself as gay.  I believe to be gay you must be attracted to the same sex only. I am not a homophobic and I never could be with many of my friends being gay and myself being bi-sexual, but I believe referring to people who are bi-sexual as gay is an incorrect assumption.  Many bi-sexual people end up with people of the opposite sex and many get married so therefore they cannot be referred to as gay. I believe to be gay you need to really end up with the same sex. I am sorry if you feel this is incorrect, but I think you need an opinion of one who has already started going through things to do with being gay and bi-sexual. I understand the pain and suffering of those who have come out already because when coming out to my close friends, I was made to feel as though I wasn't one of them anymore.  My best friend turned on me for a few days and said she thought she was a bi-sexual as well when she knew and I knew that she wasn't. It isn't easy and never will be something easy for anyone and my opinion for anyone who is bi-sexual doesn't come out to family unless you know you will end up with a same sex partner and if you fall for friends, tell them so they can try to understand why you may seem to be blocking them out! I hope you can see where I am coming from on this topic. Thank you very much. Anonymous Return to my Guideline Page or my home page.