GENDERLECT
EXAMPLES & APPLICATIONS
Created by Carol Nofel
Men and women create gender. Within these two distinct beings we can separate cultural communication distinctions that make each man or woman who they are. Seeking these communication differences in gender allows us to evaluate GENDERLECT STYLES. According to Deborah Tannen, some genderlect differences include:
1.) women seek human connection/ men are concerned mainly with status
2.) women talk more than men/ men use talk as a weapon
3.) men tell more stories than women-especially jokes
4.) a woman listening to a story tends to hold eye-contact and have more verbal and nonverbal responses that indicate "I'm listening" or "I'm with you"/ men avoid those kind of reactions because they are concerned maily with status, therefore they tend to have a more overt style of listening: "I agree with you"
5.) women ask questions to establish a connection with others/ men don't ask for that kind of help
6.) women ask for information in a way that validates her expertise/ men questioners engage in a verbal sparing match
7.) to most women, conflict is a threat to connection-to be avoided at all costs/ men usually initiate conflicts
These are only the examples Deborah Tannen gives in the text, A First Look at Communication Theory. There are many more examples and these can be noticed in our everyday interactions with one another. For a more detailed graph of Deborah Tannen's Genderlect Styles CLICK HERE.
Let's take for example, the T.V. sitcom Married With Children and relate genderlect to Al and his wife Peggy.
As most of us, who are viewers, know Al and Peggy don't exactly have the ideal relationship. They see things in completely different perspectives. Peggy wants to be comforted and listened to most of the time. Al never seems to care what Peggy is saying, nor does he "love her" the way she wishes he would. They constantly bicker about situations and ultimately let the situation pass by without resolving the conflicts. This is the way they handle their disputes. Some people may agree with this type of relationship and others may see it as sick. In this sitcom, their relationship is meant to be full of comedy along with the relationship they also have with their children Kelly and Bud. Let's take a closer look at the genderlect complications Al and Peggy have. This is a script from I'll See You In Court, episode 308.
Al : Well Peg, I'm showered and ready to go to work, an edge ever closer to the grave. Wish
me luck.
Peg : Al, take me. I wanna have sex on the kitchen table. (She sits down on the kitchen table)
(Al is looking at her perplexed)
Al : I wanna have a meal on the kitchen table. Learn to live without it. I did. Goodbye.
Peg : Al, I'm serious, I want sex.
Al : Peg, how long have we been married? 40 or 50 years? Do we not have two children?
Peg : Well, yeah.
Al : Then my job's done.
Marcy: (Coming in) Good morning, Al.
Al : Try selling shoes (He leaves)
In this dialogue between Al and Peggy we see how Al doesn't listen to his wife, rather he sees having sex on the kitchen table in a different perspective so he automatically says how he feels and doesn't even try to hear Peggy's reasoning. In relation to Deborah Tannen's 7 Genderlect Styles, we can relate this dialogue between Al and Peggy to number 1. Peggy is trying to establish a human connection with Al and all Al is concerned about is his status of being a husband who eats dinner at the dinner table. For more examples of genderlect disputes, click above the photograph of Al and Peggy. Read the many dialogues of confrontation, disagreement, and differences in their daily lives. Pay close attention to the words they use and how they say them. After you have a chance to peruse the website, try to relate more dialects to Deborah Tannen's genderlect styles. See what you come up with!
Another prime example of genderlect, in relation to television, is The Flinstones. Fred Flinstone often complains to Barney about his wife Wilma. And in the same sense, Wilma often complains to Betty about Fred. When they speak to each other, Fred assumes Wilma should always be a passive listener. And Wilma wants a more dominating role. The best example of genderlect that I've seen on this cartoon is when Fred goes to his meeting with Barney at the Buffalo lodge for men only. The way all the men at the meeting talk about their wives is hysterical. They bicker and complain and do their "manly things" while at the meeting. Then they go home and tell their wives the meeting is about nothing. Fred always assumes Wilma has no clue what they do, but her and Betty have spied to see what happens. The point I am trying to make is that Fred underestimates Wilma's intelligence because she is a woman. Meanwhile, Wilma always knows what Fred is thinking or she finds out in the end. Next time you are channeling through your television stations and you see the Flinstones are on- STOP and listen for awhile and see what genderlect styles you hear!
CAROL'S THOUGHTS ON THINGS!!!
Every day we hear example after example of genderlect styles that Deborah Tannen has pointed out for us. It's a weird realization that men and women are so different leveled when it comes to communicating. What's even more weird is if you try to put yourself in the opposite gender that you are. Then try to speak like a man if you're a woman or try to speak like a woman if you're a man. Then you can hear yourself stereotype how men or women sound. It sounds funny but try and switch roles with your significant other and hear what each other sounds like. Have fun with it!
Link to GREG'S title page
Link to AMY'S research report page
Link to BRANDY'S critique page
Link to GREG'S useful resources and links page
Look here to view an example of different ways drivers communicte with each other. This page is an excellent example of communication in a different perspective!
Reference:
Griffin, E.M. (1997). A First Look at Communication Theory, Third Edition. New York: McGraw-Hill, Inc.