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Vote SAGER on May 15
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"He'll bring the bling back to the white and green"
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----------------Why?----------------
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For several years now, the State of Ohio is losing money and Ohio University is raising tuition. Costs are skyrocketing and no one seems to have a practical solution. Miami University is now charging all students nearly $16,000 per year. OU President Glidden, in an address to Student Senate on April 23, 2003, said he expected the economic condition of this university to continue for 3 to 4 more years, at least.
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Not all students can afford a 9.5% tuition increase.
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-----What can SAGER do?-----
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I will work to bring millions of dollars in funding to our campus. There are hundreds of corporations who, through appropriate and responsible licensing agreements, can bring stable tuition costs and unprecedented prosperity to Ohio University.
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Looks like someone is ready for final exams.
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-------------Sound crazy?-------------
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Pepsi-Cola Bottling Company, in an agreement signed on August 21, 2002, will contribute over 2 million dollars in funding, scholarships, and products. Furthermore, OU receives 30% of commissions, so the more Pepsi we enjoy, the greater this university becomes!
Anheuser-Busch, in an agreement signed on June 25, 2002, will pay $25,000 for advertising rights to Ohio University football and basketball games for just ONE season! Furthermore, additional contracts sometimes exist between Anheuser-Busch and various club sports teams.
Even in subtle ways, this university repeatedly shows support for the influence of business. Pilcher House, home of Legal Affairs, is named after a nineteenth-century cabinet-maker and planing mill magnate…in other words, a entrepreneur.
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"Goodness. I had no idea."
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-----What ideas does SAGER have?-----
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I have scores of marketing ideas I am ready to deploy as your next Student Senate President.
Everyone loves the beauty and shade of College Green. Let’s capitalize on this springtime hot-spot with AOL-Time Warner College Green. The triumphs of the past meet the technology of the future when AOL-Time Warner’s wealth of media and entertainment services a university approaching its bicentennial.
Hudson Health Center. Ellis Hudson, for which the building is named, only lived to be 101. How healthy is death? We should embrace a company committed to preventing death on a large scale. Phillip Morris International is one such company actively working to save the lives of the 4 million people who die annually due to tobacco-related illness. According to Andre Calantzopoulos, President of Phillip Morris International, “I can assure you that we’re doing our best to develop cigarettes that might reduce the health effects of smoking.” Now that just makes sense...dollars and cents, that is.
We have 41 residences halls on this campus. Sounds like 41 opportunities to me. We need innovative residence halls, like Pepsi House. Imagine microfridges stocked full of ice cold Pepsi, keeping those eyes awake and focused on the books during finals week.
Although textbooks are not subsidized by Ohio University, this is yet another cost students must contend with each quarter. Now, under the Viacom conglomerate is both popular cable network MTV and publishing companies such as Simon and Schuster. "Hey Carson, can you get us some cheaper textbooks?!?" By watching trial episodes of Sorority Life 3, Dismissed, and Punk'd, we can offer Viacom test audience feedback in exchange for promotional discounts towards textbooks.
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Oh Andy, get off that phone. It's the weekend!
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------Wow! That sounds great!------
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Yes it does. A vote for SAGER not only affects you, but will lead Ohio University on the path to economical stability for future students.
Haters have all but demanded an end to my campaign, calling my ideas ludicrous and a mockery of senate. I assure you, this is no camfeign. I present my ideas in a fun, informative way to capture both the attention of voters and imagination of marketers from Fortune 500 companies.
Creativity marries legitimate accomplishment with SAGER witnessing the vows. May 15th is your opportunity to bring the bling back to the white and green.
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Thanks, Uncle Pepsi. Because of you, I can finish school.
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